Smell the Blog

Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Fashion Tips 2003!

In the spirit of the linked article above about fashion resolutions for 2003, we here at Smell the Blog are offering our own fashion tips for 2003:

Velvet, velvet velvet- You can never go wrong wearing Velvet. It was good enough for Elvis, it's good enough for you.

The sock look- The Red Hot Chili Peppers had it right. The sock on cock look will wow your friends and co-workers as a bold statement for the new year.

I will love and accept my ass- My ass is a temple. Bow down and worship it. You know you can't help it.

Top Hats and Tails are a bold move- I can't tell you how impressed my business clients are when I show up in a top hat and tails to a business meeting. You know when you leave them speechless that you've scored a major impression.

I will wear more periwinkle- The world would be a better place if people wore more periwinkle colored clothes.

Get a personal urine sack- This shows everyone that you're so busy and important, you don't even have time to pee! Wearing a personal urine sack on your belt and getting catheterized is the way to go for today's overworked business exec.

One man's lunacy is another man's gospel

Speaking of crazy stories, if you had not been raised in the West and reared on the Bible, and someone came up to you and told you that first man was made from animated dirt and women made from his rib, what would you think of that guy? I know I'd be calling for the guys with the butterfly nets.

Those crazy Raelians

So, we have this group that claims to have cloned a human female. Not only that, the founder and leader of the group is a former French journalist who goes my the name Rael and believes that we are all descended from aliens (we are clones of the aliens).

Where do people come of with such lunacy. Everyone knows humans are the descendants of pod people who live beneath the mantle somewhere near the earth's core.

Can't We All Just Get Along....and get NASTY!

An porn film starting an Israeli and a Palestinian has caused an uproar in Israel. I think they're missing a bold opportunity to bridge the gap between these two peoples. The bridge of porn can cross the chasm that separates them. Heck, look what interracial porn has done for race relations here in the U.S.! There's nothing in the Jewish-Palestianian conflict that an Arab version of Edward Penishands wouldn't cure.

p.s. On a serious note, couldn't help but notice that many of these "outraged" Muslims actually saw this porn movie. Ummm, doesn't that make YOU a sinner too? Talk about hypocrisy at its finest.