Smell the Blog

Wednesday, January 08, 2003
Delusional Cop re-enacts Old Yeller

This is just a shocking and sad story. Hopefully, some good can come out of this tragedy and we can call more attention to the practice of species profiling that caused this poor dog to be unfairly targeted by police. How many more dogs, cats, birds, goldfish and ferrets have to be embarrassed and humiliated by police simply because of their species? How many have to die!?? SOMEONE CALL PETA!!!

Steven Segal in They're Out to Get Me

According to the Smoking Gun:
Steven Seagal claims in a bizarre new lawsuit that he has recently been the target of an extortion plot hatched by members of the "German Mafia and other nefarious underworld figures" who have threatened to assault the 51-year-old actor and destroy his "reputation in the movie industry."

Umm, what reputation would that be? The one that says you're an overweight, terrible actor who made shitty movies, thought he was a country singer, but really sucked at that even more than acting, and couldn't get hired to play a pizza boy in Corky Romano II?

Monday, January 06, 2003
Shania Twain to perform at Super Bowl halftime

Immediately after the annoucement, commercial time during halftime was purchased by the corporations that sell K-Y Jelly and Kleenex.

Drew Barrymore to wed....again

Word has it the happy couple has already booked a court date in October 2003 for the impending divorce.

McCartney Tour top grossing of 2002

Well thank God for that! I was worried poor Paul was running out of money.

Is it Memorex, or is it Saddam?

Saddam is accusing the weapons inspectors of "spying" for the U.S. again. How many times have we heard this before? Really? This guy is one big broken record. Mother of all battles..blah blah blah...evil Zionist pigs..blah blah blah...Inspectors are U.S. spies...blah blah blah. They should make a Saddam action figure with pull string. He can spout all this same recycled junk over and over again. In fact, just bring this doll to the press conferences and pull the string. Why expose Saddam to the risk of appearing in public when the handy dandy Talking Saddam will handle it for you, and just as well!

Sunday, January 05, 2003
20 Years of Surfing, Chatting, Porn

The internet turns 20 today. Twenty years of bringing boobage to your home office. Technology rocks.

In preparation of attacks, U.S. is preparing to clone National Icons

It's a great idea, in case of terrorist attacks on grand national icons like Mt. Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, the Capitol, and many others, we will be able to reproduce them down to the last detail thanks to 3-D imaging.

No word on whether or not the government plans to prepare a 3-D image of President Clinton's unit.