Smell the Blog
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Iraq Refuses to Disarm, Cites Imminent U.S. Attack
An increasingly cornered Iraq complained yesterday it might be signing its own death warrant if it obeyed a United Nations order to destroy its weapons of mass destruction at the moment the US is poised to lead an invasion.
"They want us to destroy them at a time when we are threatened daily," said Owayed Ahmed Ali, the director of the Ibn al-Haithem plant, which produces the al-Samoud missiles, after another visit by UN weapons inspectors.
When it was pointed out to Ali that if Iraq disarmed completely, there would be no U.S. invasion, Ali responded, "How can you ask us to disarm when the U.S. wants to attack us for not disarming? By not disarming, we must be able to defend ourselves with our weapons of mass destruction, but if we disarm, we will be completely vulnerable to a U.S. attack. So my question to you is would you disarm if you faced disarmament by force and leave yourself vulnerable by disarming if that disarming was forced on you against you will leaving you disarmed? Answer me that smart guy."
Source Independent (UK)
Friday, February 21, 2003
Rep. Dick Gephardt Discusses Candidacy, Diarrhea
Trying to fire up party activists after a weak showing in last fall's elections, four Democratic 2004 presidential hopefuls took on President Bush Friday at the Democratic National Committee's winter meeting in Washington DC, including Rep. Dick Gephardt. Gephardt used the forum to discuss his platform for his Presidential run in 2004 and his recent bout with diarrhea.
"I support what the President is doing in trying to disarm Iraq," said Gephardt. "Uh, excuse me, uh, these cramps are just awful. I've had the worst diarrhea for the last 8 hours and it just won't quit. Lord, I was in the bathroom non-stop for an hour before I arrived here. I was afraid they'd have to call in the HAZMAT teams. Good God, the stench could peel the paint off a wall."
Gephardt went on to vow to expand health care to all Americans and said the issue would help the party appeal to traditionally Republican voters currently swayed by other "niche" issues.
"The Republicans are squandering our hard-earned prosperity. Not only have we gone from record surpluses back into deficits, but...uhhh..oh my...excuse me for a minute!"
Rep. Gephardt returned after 20 minutes and hit on other key issues such as tax cuts for working families, a reinstatement of the estate tax and hate crime legislation. Gephardt closed by asking, "Does anyone have anything stronger than Pepto-Bismol here? It really just doesn't work. It just turns my poo black. Anyone? I really could use some Immodium AD. Does anyone have any? Please?"
Death is Bad Enough...
But to die because you went to see Great White??? That's your final moments on Earth? Seeing Great White? I suppose it could have been worse. It could have been White Lion.
The Reason We Need to Invade Iraq
No humor here. This is a MUST read by E. Nough at Thinking Meat. Once you read this you'll realize with the anti-war left is wrong and war is necessry, this time.
Thanks to Daily Pundit for the link.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Martin Sheen New Face of Anti-War Ignorance in TV Spots
Martin Sheen is about to become the face of the Hollywood antiwar movement.
Sheen has cut a TV commercial in which he implores: "Don't invade Iraq. Inspections work; war won't." The ad is set to begin a one-week run today -- initially on CNN, MSNBC and CNN Headline News. The complete text of the commercial is as follows:
Hello, I'm Martin Sheen. You may also know me as your President of Conscience. Our government is currently considering a terrible act of aggression. What we're planning to do will cost the lives of innocent Iraqi people. Oh sure, many more Iraqis will die and be tortured as they live a life of misery and servitude under Saddam's iron boot if we don't do anything, but the important thing is that there is no war. War is bad. Everyone knows that. What has war ever accomplished?
Thanks to Yahoo News for source material.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Porn Stars for Peace
Taking a cue from their mainstream Hollywood brethren, a group of porn stars signed a petition opposing the war against Iraq on Tueday. The petition called on President George W. Bush to "Give peace a chance", to "let the inspectors do their job" and to "spend less time worrying about Saddam and more time going down on your wife."
At a press conference annoucing their views, Jenna Jameson said, "We need to give the inspectors more time to disarm Saddam and find those weapons of mass destruction. I bet I know where Saddam is hiding one missle. I bet it's a really BIG missle. I could help him fire off that baby if he wants."
Veteran porn star Ron Jeremey also announced that he and 100 other porn stars would take place in a Group Sex-in to protest the war. "We plan on all lining up in the shape of a peace symbol while having sex with one another. We'll tape it and it will be available on-line for the low price of $9.99. We'll do anything to promote peace, as long as it involves hot sex.
Teri Weigel wrapped up the press conference by saying, "Give me peace George! Give it to me! Oh yeah, give it me good, oh yeah, ohhh,ohhh, yes, yes, YES, PEACE! YES!!!!"
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
JFK Announces Presidential Run for 2004
In a startling turn of events today, former President John F. Kennedy has announced that he will be seeking the Democratic nomination for President in 2004. Speaking through a medium at a seance in Martha's Vineyard, MA, Kennedy said, "Have you seen the motley crew that is running for our party's ticket in 2004? I may be dead, but I've got a better shot of winning than any of these clowns. Al Sharpton? Dick Gephardt for God's sake? And why has my party lost it's set of cojones? You think I'd have sat idly by and let Saddam accumulate weapons of mass destruction? Think again!"
Police Probe Propane Gas Tank Thefts
From ABC News:
Police today are investigating the theft of 65 tanks containing 1,300 pounds of explosive propane.
Smell the Blog has learned that police are currently questioning Hank Hill of Arlen, Texas, a self-described salesman of "propane and propane accessories".
Joe Millionaire Gets a Half Million Dollars
OK, under duress, I admit I watched Millionaire last night. Let's set aside for a moment that he is the least suave guy I've ever seen. (uhhh..well, I didn't choose you).
What's the over/under and how long it takes ol' Evan to blow his wad? I say 9 months. Anyone?
Georgia Business Leaders Oppose Referendum on Whether State is Filled With Racist Rednecks
Speaking as a Georgia resident, this whole flag affair really makes me ill. First of all, it's a FLAG for God's sake. It's a piece of cloth. What is wrong with these people who are so wrapped up in this piece of cloth that they actually base their vote for Governor of Georgia on such a stupid issue? Why do states even have flags anyway? States aren't nations and they never have been (I know, Texas was a republic).
Secondly, the only thing we'd accomplish by bringing back that Confederate Battle emblem is to show the whole nation that we're a state full of ignorant, racist morons. I don't want to hear any of that "Southern Heritage" bullcrap. The Southern Heritage is one of slavery and a lifestyle based on and supported by slavery. It's a heritage of Jim Crow laws and poll taxes. It's a heritage of the Klan and lynchings and "seperate but equal".
The Georgia state flag did NOT have the confederate battle emblem before 1956. In 1956, after Brown vs. Board of Education forced the desegregation of public schools, the Georgia Legislature, in a racist fit, spit back at the Supreme Court by changing the state flag to incorporate the Confederate battle emblem. The old state flag represents a racist snit, nothing more.
Good God, first I'm faced with having Bob Barr be my Congressman in 2 years and possibly having to hear a bunch of Whiskey-swilling necks yell Yee-Haw as they raise that God-forsaken flag up the pole in Atlanta again. Spare us, please.
Welcome InstaPundit readers
Many, many thanks go out to Glenn for graciously linking me after I begged, (ahem) asked for a link. Hey, it worked for Peaceblog, why not for me too? I'm very new at this, so I hope you enjoy the good and ignore the bad. I try to cram writing here into what little spare time I have. It's a hobby, and a fun one at that. Oh, and any hate mail will be cheerfully stored in my round file.
p.s. Yes Glenn, I'm a HUGE Spinal Tap fan. I've seen it at least 30 times. I even own Break Like the Wind.
Monday, February 17, 2003
McDonald's to Drop Big N' Tasty from Value Menu
And what a darn shame that is. The beauty of the name "Big N'Tasty", besides the clever substitution of N' for and, is that the name leaves itself open to interpretation. By calling it Big N'Tasty, they are not claiming that it actually tastes good, they're merely claiming it's "tasty". Something can taste like warmed over cow patties smothered with mayonnaise and still be "tasty". It has taste, just really shitty taste.
Next thing you'll tell me is that Gary Coleman has announced he's running for President. At least he has more name recognition than What's his Face from this article.
Lord help me, Bob Barr is going to run for my district's (GA-6th) Congressional seat when incumbent Johnny Isaacson steps down to run for Zell Miller's Senate seat in 2004. Please someone, anyone out there throw your hat in the ring and keep Bob Barr from being my Congressman. I don't think I can handle the shame, the grandstanding, the paranoia. Anyone know a good moderate Republican who wants to represent the Georgia 6th?
Tony Blair's Stirring Speech
I'm getting to be more of a Blair fan every day. To think some thought he was a Clinton clone (without the sex scandals). I have yet to hear the anti-war left come up with a sound argument against the logic he uses. Text obtained via Andrew Sullivan
Yes, there are consequences of war. If we remove Saddam by force, people will die and some will be innocent. And we must live with the consequences of our actions, even the unintended ones.
Chirac cries, threatens to take ball and go home
All I have to say is this is really, really pathetic. A number of prospective European Union nations don't take France's side in the Iraq question and he threatens them with having their EU membersip rejected. The French really are a bunch of pussies.
DeathStorm 2003 vs. Orange Alert Crisis
The following is an e-mail conversation I had with a friend of mine who lives in the Northeast U.S.
Me: So, did you have to work through DeathStorm 2003 today?
Serious times call for serious discussions.
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Take a Ride on the Appeasement Train
NEW HAVEN - Thousands of Connecticut activists jumped on a "Peace Train" that glided out of Union Station Saturday morning, bound for a protest in New York City against a war with Iraq. Bruce Martin, from the Milford-based Promoting Enduring Peace, said a coalition of Connecticut peace groups filled 17 New York City-bound passenger train cars with almost 2,000 people.
Protestors carried signs aboard the train reading "No War for Oil," "Not in Our Name," and "War is Old." On the platform, they chanted, "President Bush has got to go!"
We'll be sure to tell the people of Iraq after they're liberated from a brutual dictator that you had nothing to do with it and didn't support it from the start folks. Also, war is old??? Charity is old, too, what's your point? Why don't these people just come out and say that they don't support war for any reason, ever, anywhere? And that includes getting invaded or having more citizens mass-murdered.
"While Saddam has terrible weapons and may be an awful person, he hasn't made any specific threats to anyone," said Riachard Platt, a member of the Unitarian Society of New Haven and a veteran of the armed services.
That's might big of you to admit he's an awful person, Rich. Hitler never made specific threats to Poland until the tanks rolled in. Think we should wait for something like that to happen again? Remember Kuwait? Did you also know that Saddam signed a cease-fire agreement that he is not now, nor has he ever lived up to. Doesn't that make the cease-fire null and void?
Participating in anti-war activities was a good thing for all Americans to do," said Brian Festa, a 53-year-old high school teacher from Branford. "I haven't met anyone who totally supports a war in Iraq," he said. "They're either directly opposed to it, or they're so-so. I don't believe we're in any imminent danger from Saddam, whereas the opposite is true with North Korea." He said he hopes the peace rally in New York puts pressure on Congress. "I think the turnout will be a wake-up call to them," he said.
You obviously don't get out much Brian. I know a LOT of people who fully support the war. But since you brought it up, you must then support a full scale invasion of North Korea?
Linebaugh said he traveled on the Peace Train with friends because he feels his opinion is important. "I think what Bush is doing is wrong," he said. "Changing the regime in Iraq and meddling in other people's business. It's just wrong."
You're right, let bygones be bygones. If Saddam is murdering and torturing innocents, as long as it's out of sight and out of mind, what's the big deal, eh?
DEATHSTORM 2003 set to obliterate Northeastern U.S.
My heart goes out to all my former friends living in the Northeast U.S. who are about to be wiped off the face of the earth by the upcoming winter DEATHSTORM 2003. Surely you will not be able to dig your way out of this one, as you did DEATHSTORM 2002, DEATHSTORM 2002 Part Deux, HOMEWRECKER STORM 1999, DEATHBLIZZARD 1995, etc. May God have mercy on your souls.