Smell the Blog

Friday, April 25, 2003
More Great Adventures in Googling

My site was recently hit by a Google search for "the worst diarrhea". Words escape me.

Boycott of Dixie Chicks: Country Artists May Soon Regret Fleetwood Mac Cover

Consumers, retail stores, and radio stations are uniting in a boycott of the popular country music group The Dixie Chicks after hearing about the trio's recent recording of the classic Fleetwood Mac song "Landslide." A Berkeley, California radio station sparked the growing movement against the Grammy-winning chart-toppers when it organized a "CD burning" in a record store parking lot. The well-attended event culminated in the crushing of dozens of Dixie Chicks CDs with a steamroller.

Music fans across America have expressed their outrage with the youthful, all-female band.

"I can't believe that anyone could show such traitorous disloyalty to Stevie Nicks," said furious Austin, Texas bookstore clerk Barbara Golestani. "And to do so at such a sensitive time -- just before the new Fleetwood Mac album release and tour -- makes it doubly offensive. I expect an immediate apology."

"Fleetwood Mac's version of 'Landslide' is absolutely definitive," argued music critic Rob Palazzola of Somerville, Massachusetts. "A cover version is unnecessary. In fact, even deciding to cover that song is unoriginal. Smashing Pumpkins did it almost ten years ago.... And what kind of arrangement did those girls put together? Do I hear a [gosh darn] banjo in there?"

Elizabeth Huang, a student, described her disappointment after a recent Dixie Chicks concert in Olympia, Washington. "The last thing I expected to hear from some perky country stars was a song by a British/American rock supergroup from the 1970's. They played it as an encore. I was horrified. Some people even walked out at that point. The Dixie Chicks should be ashamed of themselves."

Smell The Blog correspondent Bill Smalls contributed to this report.

Thursday, April 24, 2003
Obesity Linked to Name Calling

Excess body weight may contribute to about 100% of all derisive name-calling in overweight men and women according to a new study compiled by the University of Minnesota.

"We have found a strong correlation between how overweight a person is and the number of times during a week they are called names like 'Lard-ass', 'Two Ton Tilly', 'Shamu', 'The Beast that ate Pittsburgh', 'Fatty McButterpants', and 'The Blob', to name a few," said Dr. Diane Leviathan, who headed up the study.

"While we certainly can't discount other factors, it seems pretty clear from the data that increase in insults is directly proportional to the increase in the subject's weight."

About 65% of Americans are overweight or obese. Obesity is defined as 30 or more pounds over a healthy weight; overweight is 10 to 30 pounds over a healthy weight.

There is hope for the afflicted according to Leviathan. "All Orca has to do is get him or herself onto a damn treadmill and eat a freaking salad once in a while and the name-calling should diminish."

Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Smell the Blog Lunch Menu for Week of 4/28

Monday: Steak Tips, Inedible Rice Ball, Overcooked Veggies, Jell-O With Fruit like substance

Tuesday: Rubber Chicken, Instant Spuds, Stale Bread, Push-Up


Thursday: "Hamburgers", Tater Tots, 10 year old Twinkies

Friday: Cardboard Pizza, Unidentifiable substance, salt, Moldy Ding Dong

Congrats Josh Fielek of Blog of Xanadu

It looks like Josh is set to join the ranks of parenthood. Congrats Josh and be prepared for your time available for blogging (and everything else) to go WAY down! Seriously, though, it's the best thing that will ever happen to you.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Bring Out Your Dead!

Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who!

What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, April 21, 2003
Kenyan Shocks World By Winning Boston Marathon

Robert Cheruiyot won the Boston Marathon on Monday to give Kenya a shocking victory in the Boston Marathon today. It was just his second career marathon.

Onlooker Sean McDonald couldn't believe his eyes. "I can't believe a Kenyan won the Boston Marathon. A Kenyan! Who would ever have seen that coming. It's unprecedented."

Cheruiyot (pronounced Cheh-REE'-yot) finished in 2 hours, 10 minutes, 11 seconds to win by 23 seconds and earn $80,000, an olive wreath and a bowl of beef stew. Kenyans swept the first five spots in the race, with Benjamin Kimutai second and Martin Lel third.

Said Marathon spokesman David Kramer, "It's just great to see Kenya finally grab some of the spotlight in the sport of men's distance running. Who would ever have forseen this coming? My money was on an Englishman or a Scotsman. I almost bet on a French guy. Who would have thunk to pick a Kenyan? Man, sports just never cease to amaze you, you know? Geez, next thing you'll tell me is that the Yankees will make the baseball playoffs this year. Yeah, like that ever happens!"

Source material from: FOX News.

Welcome World of Pete to the Blog List

World of Pete joins the blogroll today. Give a click and check him out!

Sunday, April 20, 2003
Democrats Propose Bold Plan to Protect Political Celebrities

Celebrities who share their views on the war with Iraq and politics in general have been in the news quite a bit lately. Specifically, celebrities who oppose the actions and policies of President Bush and say so loudly and publicly. From Susan Sarandon to Natalie Maines to Martin Sheen, celebrities are stepping to the forefront to denounce the war in Iraq and the President in general.

In the past, most celebrity prattle on politics has been largely shrugged off by the public in general. But with a war being waged and American lives in harm's way overseas, anti-war celebrities have been experiencing quite a backlash in the past year. Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks spoke of being "embarassed to be from the same state (Texas) as the President. Now, many thousands of angry fans are destroying their CD's and calling radio stations demanding that the Chicks' songs not be played. Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon were uninvited from a celebration of their movie "Bull Durham" that was to be held at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY.

This backlash has caused some celebrities to talk of a return to the days of McCarthyism and blacklists.

Said actor Mike Farrell, ""We know there have been organized attempts to get people fired from their jobs."

For showbiz people, it's no idle concern, says historian Steven Ross. "Movie stars who get bad publicity, who are thought to be unpatriotic, are going to be perceived as box office poison," he said.

While the government has had nothing to do with the backlash celebrities have received this time around, some feel that steps must be taken to protect celebrities who feel they must speak out. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has come up with a solution to this problem.

At a press conference attended by Pelosi, actor Sean Penn, singer Barbra Streisand, Farrell, actor Martin Sheen, Sarandon and Robbins, Pelosi unveiled the "No Celebrity Left Behind Act".

"This bill," said Pelosi, "will guarantee the rights of celebrities to speak out for the political causes they see fit and will protect them from retribution from an unappreciative or angry public. After all, we aren't just guaranteed the right to speak freely and express dissent with the government, we are also guaranteed the right to be free from opposing opinions, criticism, point by point refutations of our positions and the refusal to see movies or purchase products produced by said celebrities."

"What we intend to do," continued Pelosi, "is to prevent any media outlet, like FOX for instance, from addressing any statement made by celebrities in a critical manner. They may broadcast the statement, but they may not comment on its practicality, relevancy, or relationship with reality. No criticism."

"Secondly, the government will step in and protect these brave souls by determining what movies, TV shows, books and CD's you, the American people, will buy from now on. A government minder will be assigned to you when you shop. For every non-political product you buy, you will be forced to purchase a product made by politically motivated celebrities as well. For instance, if you decide to buy the latest DVD starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, you will then be made to purchase a DVD of a movie produced by Oliver Stone or one that stars Sean Penn, for example."

"Your TV viewing habits will be monitored by your minder. While it is still perfectly acceptable for you to watch Bill O'Reilly or "Fear Factor", you will also be required to tune into "The West Wing" to balance your viewing habits and make sure that Martin Sheen is being supported so that he does not lose his job for political reasons. It is simply unacceptable for Americans to hold celebrities accountable for their statements through the power of the marketplace. It is Un-American to punish someone for views you do not agree with. You should be forced to support them whether you like it or not. This is the price of free speech, and that is the right to freedom from speech."

When asked about the prospects of getting the bill through Congress and signed by President Bush, Pelosi said, "Well, the Republicans now have a chance to show the American people where they stand, on the side of McCarthyism and suppression of free speech, or on the side of insulated celebrities."